#ASingleGirlsDiary The One You Want, The One You Lust & The One You Need

Want (verb)have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for.;lack or be short of something desirable or essential.

(noun) a desire for something.;a lack or deficiency of something.

Lust{noun}  very strong sexual desire.

{verb} have a very strong sexual desire for someone.

Need [verb] require (something) because it is essential or very important;expressing necessity or obligation.

[noun] circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action; necessity.; a thing that is wanted or required.


Okay now that we have the basic English definitions out of the way, here goes! This summer was probably a portion of the most emotionally trying time I’ve ever experienced. Depression, family issues. transition, being a mom, a girlfriend it was all a lot. Grief has a weird way of dealing with us, but that’s another blog for another day. What this summer did instill in me is that 1 Corithian 13:4-7 is still the base for what love is what love does!

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud orarrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening]. (AMP Version)

I have been blessed enough to work in a community center in my neighborhood, while being here my emotions among other parts of me were on a hormonal rampage, not to mention my spiritual life was in the pits. No daily word, no bible study, no monthly prayer and I was literally BARELY making it to Sunday services between June until around September, all this while dealing the thorn in my flesh that is sexual desires. Back to the community center, I work with three of the dopest dudes which at one point was the gift and the curse lol it led me to this thought that in life there will be the man you want, the man you need and the one you’ll lust after. Up until now I believed I was the super woman of relationships that was until I believed  I seen things I thought I wanted and wasn’t getting well at least to my liking. One day I was asked to describe these men lol, first off one is like an uncle the other two are the prime examples of how females slip up everyday. So there’s the smooth dude who has street smart, slightly educated, someone you want but can’t have which as sad as it is makes him a tad bit more attractive. Here’s the dude you lust after and if you aren’t smart and he has no respect of his relationship you’ll surely slip up and be looking the fool in addition to being ALL THE WAY in your emotional bag. here’s where Timothy 2:22 kicks in

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (NLT Version)

The guy you want who can also be the one you need, but may not always be the case. The guy you want is the one full of potential, has the qualities you want and/or may like a lot but might not be there enough to level up. For instance he’s getting money but drinks, or he’s ambitious but has no drive. The man you want is the guy you want to run off into the sun with and have a destination wedding with. He’s also the man who as I stated is the man you need and you my friend may have a winner on your hands. That is something only you can decipher case by case.He an also be the man you want because your friends have one……………….Whoa…Whoa…..Whoa take this portion correctly I’m not saying you literally want her man I’m saying you like what you hear and/or see about this man, whether you know the real of what’s going on behind the scenes or not. For example my best friend recently got married, I’ve never been more genuinely happy for a person in life! Imagine if I now wanted my boyfriend to have a job with the state and a condo in jersey and propose right away. That would be me wanting at the moment which is fleeting and coveting over what my neighbor has.


You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”Exodus 20:7

Above all the man you want should be because you want it not because your girl. or the shorty on IG’s man is this and/or that. Know YOUR wants!

Now to the man everyone skips over or takes awhile to take out of the friend zone because he may not meet your initial “attraction requirements” this is the man tons of females miss out on. You know the dude that has great credit a decent amount in his savings, loves kids want to get married and do things the right way. Drives has steady income and all this while pushing and encouraging you to do better and be the greatest form of you possible. Yet because you’re already taken or because he isn’t 6’4″ with the body builder body, perfect teeth 6 pack and that good hairline lol but in these times 1 Samuel 16:7 is a great scripture to look to

Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Me I believe thus far in my current relationship I’ve been blessed to meet a man who is a mixture of all three (yes it can happen! And no it’s not always peaches and roses!) I desire to “be with him”, yet I want to wait for marriage and days without him leave a  longing I’ve never sensed! I write all this to say ladies enjoy single and really investigate, pray and meditate or who you’re with, men this can go for you as well!



2 thoughts on “#ASingleGirlsDiary The One You Want, The One You Lust & The One You Need

  1. David says:

    Good post. I admire the way you use Scripture. It is in a pertinent context, the passage has some length to it and it is clear that you look to Scripture for guidance. Thanks for posting that.

    Liked by 1 person

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